Me and my dad at a Jay's game
I can't believe it's been 5 years since my dad died. I mean, in some ways it feels like it was yesterday, but in other ways, it really feels like a lifetime ago because he was there-but-not-there, himself-but-not-himself, for such a long time.
My dad before Alzheimers -- and for a long time during -- really, truly radiated. He was so vibrant and full of love for his family, his friends, students, colleagues... he would do anything to make people happy. Cheesy jokes, jazz hands, showtunes in a weird accent or with questionable, alternate lyrics, and always the ridiculous ties and big, excellent hugs. Really, radiated.
But then Alzheimers was unbelievably cruel. Slowly, perpetually dimming a bright light here, messing with a wire there, swapping the twinkle in his eyes for a look of confusion, frustration, hesitation, helplessness... still, for a long time, once in a blue moon there would be a precious, fleeting moment of recognition and connection, a look, a smile or a hug that felt *for real*! And then gone again. Gut punch. There but not there, himself but not himself.
I'm so grateful for all of the *before* memories, and for opportunities to talk about my awesome dad to anyone who'll listen <3. I'm so grateful for the research and supports that exist to help people living with this devastating disease and the grief that surrounds it and lingers for a lifetime. I'm so grateful to my family who took care of him like you would not believe... and huge thanks to my brother, David, for starting this fundraiser to honour our dad, and to support those programs and research that we all hope will lead to a cure, ease the suffering, and support those living with it in the meantime. David's going to run, I'm going to *walk quickly* every day from now until my dad's birthday in 3 weeks.
If you're able and inclined, you can support our team's fundraising with any amount at all. If it's not feasible, please feel free to sing a song (in an accent, or with questionable lyrics if you feel like it ;)), tell a joke, wear a ridiculous tie, hug someone... and cheers to my dad.
With so much love and gratitude <3
Ceilidh
